The Nicest Thing You Can Say To A Dad
It was about to be an epic meltdown.
My little Ella is easily influenced by her older sister Skylar. So when we were set to start a fun-filled day on vacation in Door County, Wisconsin, I’m the one hoping that we can just get through lunch before s*** hits the fan.
The 45-minute car ride from Sister Bay down to Sturgeon Bay was uneventful. That’s because the kids knew they were going to “The Farm,” a Door County staple for generations. My wife loves the place. She’s been going there since she was a kid. I love it too because you see the kids’ minds run with imagination. They love the freedom.
It’s the kind of place where if you have a few quarters to spare, you can get a brown bag of corn kernels to feed the cows, and the sheep. Plus, one baby bottle of milk can attract one baby goat, or several aggressive ones. Skylar will hold a kitten or baby goat for hours if they’ll let her. We’ll take a lazy walk around the meadow. Check out the geese in the pond. Peer inside the 19th century style log cabins. Answer the question: “How did people live like this?” for the 15th time. Stop in the gift shop, everyone gets a stuffed animal. A couple hours and off we go.
Ella never handles the goats getting after the milk bottles well, but she tries. She’s too much like her dad, admittedly so.
Before we get to The Farm (yep, that’s actually the name!), we had to get lunch. Do you want your kids hands all over food after touching animals? Me neither. So a stop at Culver’s is convenient enough. Get in and get out. I get some cheese curds and everyone’s happy.
At first, Ella wants a lemonade and that sounds great. She sits down waiting to eat, and then she sees Skylar. Chocolate Milk in hand.
Uh oh.
The whining for a brief moment turned into a full blown wail after we told her nicely that couldn’t change her mind. With a 4-year-old acting out, you get to the edge of losing your mind. Admittedly I probably would have handled this situation differently at home. However, I was in a good mood. So was my wife and it had to do with the day ahead. We handled it. It was over.
Good Job
Fast forward to leaving the restaurant, as I top off a little extra Diet Pepsi for the road, a woman tapped me on the shoulder and said the one of the nicest things I’ve been told in a long time.
“I just want to say, the way you two handled your daughter back there was so sweet and lovely,” she said.
I was stunned. I turned around taken aback. I was appreciative but surprised to be reminded that I guess people watch that sort of thing. It’s easy to get into the zone of parenting, but it’s a good reminder that eyes are always on us. I was doing what I thought was right for that moment. Nothing more. Didn’t think anyone noticed and I wasn’t really worried if anyone did.
I picked up a crying Ella and pulled her into me for a hug and softly explained my improvised rule at restaurants.
“If you pick it, you stick with it.”
Easy to remember, easy to teach, you chose lemonade, you’ve got to stick with it. I have her finish the rhyme once or twice and she smiled with pride through tears because she had the right answer. If you pick it, you stick with it. I just made that up right then and there. Hell I don’t know. Parenting on the fly. Maybe that will work, right?
Skylar, always the motherly 5-year-old, picks up on it and chimes in saying that’s what she was doing with her chocolate milk. Bless her heart. Ella was still mad and it took a few minutes of hugs to bring everyone down off the ledge.
Now back in her seat, ready for her corn dog, I tell her the lemonade will be good. I repeat that she’ll probably get chocolate milk at some point this week (probably that night) because we’re on vacation. The tension subsides, the meal comes and we all eat in peace. Then it’s back in the car.
The Farm was a blast for the kids. They had been there a year ago during the pandemic and knew what to expect, but it brings a smile to their face, and this year I could actually see that smile without a mask in the way. Oh and we beat a monster rain storm that was heading towards the peninsula that night. A win for dad staring at his radar app longer than I should have been. (Put your phone away!)
Each kid picked out a stuffed animal. Ella’s little cow made it back home to Illinois, I think. I haven’t seen it in a few days. Uh oh.
In the end, the whole episode would have been forgotten about if it not been for a woman in Wisconsin showcasing her “Midwest Nice” complementing skills. It makes you think that someday our kids will grow up and if we do it right, they’ll be just as nice. They’ll be motivated enough to stroll over to the drink machine at a fast food restaurant, tap a stressed out dad on the shoulder and say “good job.”
You never know who’s watching and sometimes if you’re doing it right, that’s a good thing.
Matt Rodewald is Emmy Award-winning journalist, spending nearly two decades in local news. Visit www.thefarmindoorcounty.com/ for more information.
